Vivacious

I was sitting in a weekly staff meeting with my Residence Life team. It was my birthday and they surprised me with a little celebration. This team was special to me as it was my last year as a Resident Coordinator and I'd be graduating from Talbot that year. Part of the time was a dedicated sharing time. Fourteen of my colleagues were gathered and each person chose to reflect a word to me of what they experienced of me. This type of thing always puts a person on the spot, especially when you don’t like the limelight—but it can also turn out to be a significantly encouraging time. I remember all the words that were shared with me and each one has special meaning to my heart. The first word came from my friend Rosanna. She said that the word she thought of when she thought of me was, "vivacious." Whoa. It totally caught me off guard. No one had ever said that about me before. She went on to explain why. And it made sense. And it was a perfect description. And I'm so glad she shared it with me in this setting. I think I've spent many years figuring out what it means to be vivacious and owning it.

Part of that journey has been embracing who I am. Part of that journey has been practicing authenticity. Part of that journey has been living connected to the Holy Spirit that is alive in me. Part of that journey has been learning to love the unique ways that God has made me inside and out. Part of that journey has been learning to love others no matter what and receiving love well. Part of that journey has been self-care—learning discipline and caring for my mind, body, and soul. And last, but not least, I think I've had to learn to take risks and open myself to others and let them really see me for who I am and the light that is within. I've been on a journey of learning to trust.

Something important happens on the road to trust. You have to let go of control. And you have to let another in. It's scary. But there is such peace. The trust is growing. And it's a lifelong thing I think. It's come from really opening myself to God. I have had to believe that He is my Companion. He is near. If there is one thing that I could wish for every human being on the face of this earth it would be for them to know this. It might sound cliche, but really, I mean it. Another thing I've had to learn through therapy and classes and supervision sessions is who I am and who I am becoming. Through these years of exploration, revelation, confusion, frustration, fear, contemplation, and just plain living, I've had to learn one very important thing—to abide.

One of my friends is Italian and so I go to her often to talk about how Italians live differently than Americans. Since I lived in Europe for a year, I have a unique admiration for their tradition, slower pace of life, deep enjoyment of life and loved ones, and their passion for life overall. One day I asked her to translate John 15:5 for me, because really I'd say that it is one of my foundational life verses. It really illustrates what I've had to learn. It has been the key to my perseverance and courage in facing myself and facing God. I am connected to Him and Him to me.

I found it interesting that the word "abiding" in Italian can mean: constant, persevering, firm, stable, durable, enduring, and lasting. In John 15:5 the word abiding is translated as "dimora" which means "to live." The word for vine is "vite." Going even deeper into this word study and coming back to the word vivacious (because I think they're all connected), I found that the word vivacious stems from the Latin word "vivere." It means "to live, to be alive, to be." The Latin verb also means "be thou survived" and "be thou resided in." There you have it. Abiding in The Vine can bring about a vivacious spirit in a person. At least in me it does. Living deeply. Living freely. Living connected. Fully living. That's what I want to be about.

Vivacious. Lively in temper, conduct, or spirit. Animated. Energetic. Vital. Lively and bright. Displaying vigor. Passionate. Exciting. Full of energy. Shining.

Thanks for that word, Rosanna. Thanks for seeing me as I truly am. And reflecting it back to me. And thank you, Gioia, for continuing conversations about the depth of being alive! And, thank you God for being near and teaching me to trust all of me to You. It is in the letting go that true life comes.

John 15:5 "io sono la vite, voi siete i tralci; chi dimora in me, e io in lui, porta molto frutto, poiche' senza di me non potete far nulla."