The Glimmer
I had to stop myself one day this week. I was a bit overwhelmed with what I was taking in and it was affecting me in deep places. The news. Social media. Poor Leadership. Our nation. Fears. Division. Inequality. Death. Ugly. Sin. Sickness. Selfishness. A lot just wasn’t sitting right with me. So I sat with God and unpacked it. Grieving. Pain. Trauma. It’s all around. It’s always been around but recently it’s been super magnified. And for those of us who care – we feel it.
Sometimes I try to just get on with the day. If I do what I normally do maybe it will go away. Maybe peace will come. If I busy myself maybe my feelings will lessen. The tension will ease.
But then on this day I hear there’s an Amber Alert for a 10-year-old girl from a small town not far from us. It’s 11am and she’s been missing since 4pm the day before. I deep sigh. I pray. My internal emotion rises. I watch the news updates on my Facebook hoping for hope – a glimmer.
The report comes through. She left her mom a note that she found upon returning home from work. Saying she just couldn’t do “this” anymore. She took medication – enough to kill her – and she went walking away from her home. They found her a few blocks away. Lifeless. And for some reason this story just took me down. It hurt. Really? Amidst everything else, this? Yes. This.
A ten-year-old girl. With so much life ahead of her. Had no hope. And she acted on it. Impulsively. The ugly of this world got to her. The dark got to her. She felt alone. And she didn’t want to do “this” anymore.
Throughout the day I was so troubled by this story, so I sat with God. Why was I so affected by this? He revealed a few key things during my reflection:
There is a lot of heavy in the world right now.
There is a lot of tension and division in the world right now.
Mental health awareness is rising in the world right now.
Children are affected.
Everyone is affected.
The enemy is at work.
There is still a promise of hope and light.
There is beauty present.
It’s ok to be honest about your feelings. It’s ok to feel.
It’s important to process what affects you, God is trying to reveal more of your heart.
God wants us to come to him with our questions, our deep emotion, our responses to what we take in daily in the world. If I reflect I will learn more about myself. I will pause to take in truth. I will be renewed and equipped with how to move forward. It’s ok to not feel ok about what’s going on in our world right now. It’s ok to checkin and take note of where I’m at, how I’m feeling, and what might be influencing me/impacting me for good/bad. It’s imperative to re-center, re-focus, infuse myself with God’s truth and claim it.
One thing that God spoke to me during my time of reflection was: Take note of the beauty all around you. In people. In creation. In relationships. Look and listen. You will see it. Let beauty give you hope. The beauty you see may look different than how the world defines beauty. But you’ll know it when you see it and experience it. My beauty will speak to your soul in a way that the world will never be able to. Spend time seeking that. It will prove that you can do “this”.
I’ve been looking for the beauty more since that moment. It helps. It is the glimmer.
Reflection:
Do a self check-in. How are you doing with everything going on in the world?
1) Physically?
2) Mentally?
3) Spiritually?
Do you need to pull away/unplug for your own health for a bit?
Counseling/Therapy is always a healthy option no matter where people are at in life. Have you ever tried it?
What can you do daily to help you focus on God’s truths about the world and your life? What works for you? What doesn’t work? What might you need to change?
Do you have days like I was having? How do you deal with heaviness, tension, strong emotion?
Do you believe that God can handle you? Talk to Him about it.
Spend a little time writing about your response to big issues/topics in our nation right now. What is your heart response? Do others in your life agree? Do you have a place you can share with others who will hear you out?
God told me to look to the beauty amidst the ugly. How do you define beauty? What does it look like when you see it/experience it? How does it affect you?
How do you process the ugly when it touches your life? Name some examples for your own life.
I encourage you to spend time in deeper reflection with God on some of these questions. I believe people are carrying a lot right now and it can be really beneficial to turn off the media and tune in to something bigger - God. Talk with Him and listen to what He has to say about your life, your heart, your feelings. See what He says and how He leads and guides. Let Him show you the glimmer of hope you need specifically in your own life.
Journeying Together,
C