The Train Station

Journal Entry from the End of my 21 Day Solitude Retreat in a Washington Cabin
1.13.09
Last night I was awakened from a deep sleep and the Lord gave me a very clear picture/vision. It was me as a little girl dressed in a cute dress standing all by myself at a train station. I was just standing there. I don't know where it was. It reminded me of the underground tube stations that I've been in all around London and Oxford. So it seemed familiar to me. I was waiting. There was a suitcase packed and I was ready for wherever I was going! It was a strange feeling looking at yourself from a different perspective. It was like I was part of her, could feel what she was feeling, and I was particularly drawn to the face of this girl. She was radiant and beaming. She was grinning this huge grin from ear to ear, absolutely excited about something and not even phased by the fact that she was probably 8-10 years old and in a big train station all by herself. She was going somewhere. And she was waiting.
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As I've sat with this, it communicates so much to me. About who I am. About what God is asking of my life. About what He's already done. I will be writing more about it, because it paints a good picture of the life journey I've been on. I am a traveler. I have been all around the world...from India to Spain to London to Oxford to Venezuela to New York City to Nashville...etc. More than that, my therapist pointed out to me continuously that I have also traveled through my heart and soul deeply. I've shared this vision with some of my friends and they have asked why I think that am a little girl in it. In many ways, that little girl is who I am...who my heart wants to be...where my freedom lies...where I need to be receiving God's Fatherly love. A key thing about the vision is that I can remember it so clearly...I can even go back there. It is significant to me that I can stand in that train station...I can hear the trains coming...but I'm just waiting there...not afraid...not anxious...with no direction. At no point is there a destination mentioned. There are no signs. There are no loud speaker announcements. I'm just standing there smiling and ready to go. I love it. Many days I have to go back to this picture...because most days I don't know if my heart is really in this place...being ready. Another special part of this picture is that I'm alone as a child...but it's almost as if I'm not alone. Also, it portrays to me that God has had me on this train my whole life. I don't know where it's going...except that its ultimate destination is a reunion with Him...loved perfectly and wholly. Perhaps this is the deepest longing of my heart.

Reflection:
Do you remember your dreams? Do you ever write them down? Sometimes they can be powerful.
Do you ever feel that your life is full of waiting?
Name some of the circumstances of waiting in your life. Describe them and describe your responses.
What did you learn through those experiences?
Has God ever prepared you for something during a period of waiting? How?
Are you a soul traveler? Have you spent time with yourself journeying with God through some of your deepest parts? If so, what were the benefits? What was it like?

Journeying Together,
C